May142012

The List

Things I’ll miss about France:

  • admiring the french style on a daily basis 
  • eavesdropping on conversations and picking up new expressions
  • the lifestyle (people take it easy—there’s never a need to rush)
  • Seeing people just chilling at cafés
  • l’Entrecote (best french restaurant ever)
  • being 3 tram stops away from Zara/the biggest shopping street in Europe
  • the fresh bread 
  • the pain au chocolat (there was a point where I had one every day)
  • sitting on my balcony and taking in the sun
  • the sound of french 
  • seeing adorable couples (even when they just made me jealous)
  • french fathers spending time quality time with their children
  • the wine!!
  • The tram/public transportation. California, you really need to jump on that bandwagon already.
  • The amazing friends I’ve made here and have to leave behind
  • Well dressed men
  • Walks along the quai on warm afternoons
  • nightly runs on the quai
  • Children speaking french
  • The cheese—I don’t have it often, but when I do, it’s oh so good.
  • Speculoos (Don’t worry I’m taking a lot home so that you guys can taste them)!
  • My cozy apartment (minus living in it in the winter— tooooo cold!!)
  • The fact that no one understood us when we spoke english (that is going to slap us in the face upon our return)
  • special K —the french version
  • my ability to travel almost anywhere in Europe
  • Le Miroir d’Eau
  • our proximity to Alex (friend from London)!
  • being able to drink and just take the tram home (NO D.D. required here!)
  • kebabs!
  • Mcshit—way better in France than in the US. 
  • Bordeaux as a city itself
  • The quai at night—so beautiful
  • Paprika flavored pringles —trust me, they’re delicious.
  • les macarons
  • speaking french (It’s like I have to leave as soon as my accent is getting better)

Things I won’t miss about France: 

  • The overt PDA (seen people gropping each other at McDonalds one to many times)
  • French people who are rude
  • The abundance of poor hygiene (Yes, that means you French B.O.)!!
  • The smell of piss I get to whiff every time I walk to and from the tram stop
  • The hobos who get on the tram with their dogs and bring along with them the combined odor of piss, cigarette smoke, and B.O. Oh, and their drunkness.
  • The education system—scratch that, ALL systems. This includes, postal services, phone companies, banks and internet companies. You are all ridiculously complicated and incompetent
  • Preteens who smoke
  • People who have no regard for my health and smoke right next to me and let it blow into my face
  • The amount of dog shit I see every day (pick up your dog’s business people!)
  • My unreliable internet connection
  • The distance between my family and I
  • The distance between my friends and I
  • The distance between my boyfriend and I
  • The embarrassment I’d risk if I left the house in pajamas
  • The Euro (Vive le dollar!)
  • Cold winters

As of this afternoon I’ve been overcome with a nauseating stomach ache. I’ve realized how close I am to leaving. Sorry if I bore you with this topic, but the truth is, the degree of sadness I’m feeling has been growing exponentially. I’m anxious to be home, but I’m mostly anxious to get the initial “shock” of being home over with. The reverse culture shock is something I THINK I’m ready for, but won’t actually know until I’m there. To be honest, I’m not looking forward to it. Life in France has finally become normal, meaning that a change in lifestyle at this point is just going to throw me off balance—again. At least I’ll be surrounded by all the people that I’ve missed for the past 10 months :) 

As I sit on the tram and stare out the window millions of thoughts start racing through my mind. I’m trying to keep my emotions together, or at least to get them out in writing as accurately as possible, but the words just don’t come to me. I’ve become overwhelmed just thinking about the fact everything I do in these days will be the “last time” I do them. “The last time I go grocery shopping, the last time I see a friend I’ve made in France, the last time I eat this or that, the last time I enjoy a glass of wine on my balcony, the last time I run on the quai, etc.” It’s just happening so fast and my mind isn’t grasping it. I’ve begun to tell myself that I’ll be visiting in the next few years so that I don’t completely fall apart. France has forced me to overcome a lot of challenges (mostly due to their bureaucratic system), but I’d take all the bad stuff again in a second in order to have the good stuff. At this point, I just hope that I don’t have an anxiety attack the moment I get off my very last tram ride.

If I am home and I bust out crying because I miss France, try to just bare with me. 

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